Coming back from a recent trip, I realized that my perspective and beliefs on many things had changed. As a visitor to new times and places, I observed, learned, grew, and loved in different ways. I am better for it.

With the summer halfway over and the days getting shorter, I noticed I ended a cycle and began another. It is in times like now that I ask myself, what do I want? What specific result do I want in my life?

As parents, many of us struggle to balance holding space for those we love and simultaneously living out our own dreams and life goals.  We put off our plans until our children are grown and out of the house, or else we find ourselves designing other people's lives (which is an invasion of their space). This can be a convenient distraction away from taking responsibility for ourselves and what we want most.   

Focusing on the needs of others feels useful because many of us learn from a very young age that love means doing things for others. However, this is only true when we don't leave ourselves out of the equation. Too often, we use giving as a way to put off receiving, and we underestimate the power of being an example of what is possible.

After asking yourself what specific result you want in your life, ask what you would have to do to get it. It is not essential to know how to go about it. Just start from where you are and dream, approximate, and dare to be wrong. Use everything you have: your imagination, intuition, logic, cause, and effect to give it your all. Just start and let the motion inform the movement.

What would you need to feel to do those things?  What feelings would fuel your actions?  Put in the highest octane available to you.  What feelings may work for someone else may not work for you. Check-in: if the place you want to go is as good as where you are, why do it? Is it better or is it more about the journey? Both are ok, just like your reasons. What thoughts or feelings are standing between you and where you want to be?  Know that if no thoughts or feelings were standing between you and where you want to be, you would already be there.

Finally, what beliefs could you fuel your actions? There may be ups and downs, or times when you want to give up and stop trying.  Well-meaning or not-so-well-meaning people may tell you you are running against the wind, going the wrong direction.  People you love may have a hard time accepting the beliefs that you have for yourself. There may be times when the funds are low, and the debts are high, or you may sail through three-quarters of the way only to walk into a wall figuratively or literally.  Are your current thoughts supporting your goals?

To share your thoughts you can reach me at me@eugenianascimento.com. I would love to hear from you.