Coaching Q & A2

Question

I am having a hard time believing that my thoughts cause my feelings. Could you say more on the topic?What  am I supposed to think when I am on the receiving end of someone’s anger?

Answer

Other people do not have the power to control your feelings. Their feelings cause their actions, and their thoughts cause their feelings, never yours.   

You cause the pain you feel when you

1. Believe them 

 2. Think they disrespect you

 3. Think they should be behaving differently.

 4. Think… ( fill in the blank)

Although this is true, it was not true when we were children.  As a child, we were dependent on adults for survival. Therefore, the angry words of adults were hurtful. However, as adults transition into adulthood, they become the stewards of their ships and have the power to choose their thoughts which generate their feelings, fuel their actions, and produce their results.  

Along with that right of passage comes a freedom that ends where someone else's begins. By this, I mean that adults are responsible for everything we think, do, and say. We choose what we allow into our space and what we do not.  We choose who we spend time with, listen to, and believe. By doing these things, we step into the awareness that we are the primary cause of the results of our lives.