Disagreements

Disagreements

I was talking with my three-year-old grandson. After a brief conversation explaining why I should see things his way, he looked at me and asked me if I understood. After I recovered from his command of the English language, I smiled and said yes, I understand, but I don't agree. He repeated what I said as we explored this new level of communication.

Disagreements are a normal part of family life. We have the freedom to think and no one does it the same way. We may disagree with our mates, co-parents or our children. However, these moments can be rich in growth opportunities. 

You believe what you believe because of your history, experience, education, and decisions. When a family member is talking, notice whether you feel upset and want to correct them. Do you feel that you want to fix them, and does the thought that they are wrong cause you to want to interrupt? Instead of interrupting, try asking them to tell you more. See if you can hold space while they tell you everything and observe your feelings while you listen. Then, rather than reacting, decide how you want to respond.

It is important to remember it is not their words but rather our thoughts about their words that we find upsetting. Even seemingly hurtful words are a neutral circumstance until we have a thought and decide what those words mean to us. When we listen from a place of fascination rather than upset, we can listen, hear, and understand why someone else believes what they believe. 

Listening to others does not mean you agree with them. Disagreeing, staying in this space, and holding space for disagreement is an attainable, commendable, and loving goal for all concerned. You can master it with loved ones and then add it to your toolbox to utilize in today's world. 

"If you are willing to give another person his state of consciousness, you have at least the right to expect the same for yourself."

                                                 ——-Harold Klemp