Holding Space

Holding Space to Promote Self Healing

Communication is very important in all relationships, especially in our relationship with ourselves.

To hold a loving space for yourself to connect with your inner thoughts without blame, frustration, defensiveness, or justification is a necessary first step.  

Moving past the primal need to hold on to old thoughts and beliefs at all costs often costs us our peace and personal growth.

One way to find inner peace is to give up right and wrong. Neither your past self nor the perspective you want to hold today has to be right or wrong. What might have been true to your past self may not hold up to who you are or long to be. Look for a middle place; that is often where a more balanced loving space resides. 

In the past, we may have formed beliefs to protect ourselves or attempt to make sense of the world. Or in an attempt to control the thoughts and actions of others.  As you move forward in this exercise, remember that all circumstances are neutral when we choose to be the cause rather than the effect of our lives, we have control over our thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

Let us begin by agreeing we don’t need to be right about anything. 

This immediately removes the need for defense or justification of our past choices. Without defense, there is no need for offense, and the inner conflict is over. 

Be willing to have your own back and hold yourself in unconditional love. Take a deep breath of peace. Know that the place you long to be requires you to love yourself throughout this journey.

At this point, brainstorm solutions rather than allowing yourself to think about the problem or the thoughts that no longer serve you. 

The goal is to find a solution that makes life better than holding on to the past. Be willing to take some time with this.

Clean up your thinking. Be willing to be wrong. Then separate facts from your thoughts, based in the now and the thoughts based in the past, and focus on a solution.