Self Care

"Never give from the depths of your well, but from your overflow."

Rumi

I fell off my bike a few weeks ago. I jumped on my bike out of frustration when I realized that I had not created opportunities to ride in my schedule. Short on time, I took a shortcut on a dirt path home. My back wheel did not clear a tree root, and I fell. The ground was soft, but I still managed to bruise a few ribs and knock the wind out of myself.  Remembering this feeling from a childhood experience, I did not struggle to regain my breath. I relaxed, slowly letting my breath return, and then got back on my bike and continued home.  

Sometimes, as parents, we stretch ourselves too far, make an impulsive decision, find ourselves frustrated, or show up as the yelling parent. When we give ourselves time to breathe and instead make a plan that includes self-care and meeting our own needs, we can show up as our best selves for our loved ones and ourselves as well.

Giving love when your own well of love is empty is like expecting two half-full glasses to fill each other.  The only way one glass is full is if the other is empty, and in the long run, it never turns out well.  It is best to take care of your personal needs physically, emotionally, and mentally. 

My children's nursery teacher would always tell parents of children who refuse to share classroom materials that children share when they have had enough and are ready. As children, we instinctively know that sharing and loving come from an honest place, a place of overflow.  

Truth and love go together.  Self-care is incompatible with poor planning or telling people what they want to hear instead of living in your truth. Inside, you lose yourself as well as the experience of what it means to love someone unconditionally. Unconditionally loving someone is telling them the truth and then loving them anyway regardless of their reaction. 

Know that there is an unlimited supply of love. It's yours for the taking.