When I was going through a particularly challenging time, a friend turned to me and quietly said “there is no such thing as justified anger.” Hearing this stopped me in my tracks and brought more of my anger to the surface. But when I cooled down, I realized he was right, andI have never looked at anger the same again.

Anger is a feeling, a vibration in your body, a reaction generated by your thoughts about a neutral circumstance. Anger generally manifests as passive aggression, open aggression, or assertive anger. Identifying where you are in the anger band can be helpful when passing through it.

Anger is an understandable but ultimately indulgent emotion, one that I have learned to let go of and move with non-judgment. 

Remember that the actions of others (including your children) are not the cause of your anger. I am not saying you don’t have boundaries and let people take advantage of you. I am saying we are responsible for the results when we let our actions be fueled by anger.

The next time you feel yourself slipping into anger, hold space for it. Be curious. Ask questions. What is anger? How do you recognize it? How do you know you're experiencing it? Where do you feel it in your body? 

With unconditional love and compassion for yourself, let your anger inform you of the self-work you have yet to do. It is some of the most challenging and best work I have ever done.