Assumptions in Parenting

What and how you think creates your current life. Thoughts are the sentences that run continuously through your mind; they are the language in your mind about your circumstances. Sometimes we are aware of our thinking, but often we are not. It is easy to fall into a pattern of making and confirming our assumptions. 

The most challenging assumption is the one you don't know you are making. These automatic assumptions are often fear-based and cover a wide range of thoughts/beliefs. Many of our assumptions are learned behavior from our childhood. They come from our culture and families and from what we were taught to think as children. 

Assumptions are not all bad and do have a place. As critical thinkers, we often start from assumptions and then move to what we know for sure, or we can start from what we know and move to assumptions. When assumptions are proven to be true, then they become information. But, as parents filled with mixed emotions, it is challenging to follow objective, deductive and inductive reasoning.

Making assumptions about our children and their intentions shapes our response to them and can negatively affect our relationship. Being mindful of this, why do we continue to make assumptions? The short answer is the brain is designed to. It searches for patterns, or mental models, to make it a more efficient machine.

Instead of making assumptions about your children, strive to listen deeply, open yourself to inquiry without assumption or judgment, notice without judgment, be open to multiple possibilities, and don't be afraid of your worst-case scenario. Transform assumptions into questions, take the initiative and use your newfound free time toward yourself and nourish your creativity. 

Know that despite any assumptions you may make, you are the perfect parent for your child. In accepting the responsibility of being ourselves and not reacting to other people's perspectives, we become "cause "in our lives and not the effect of others. Freedom is living to your highest potential, heart, mind, and soul.