Somewhere I picked up the phrase, "I am old enough not to let my wants hurt me." Understanding and taking responsibility for life's choices is an essential part of learning about self-discipline.

A child who can consciously make choices will understand their own needs, gain a sense of control over their life and begin to learn internal discipline, organization, and prioritizing.

Children learn how to make meaningful choices by watching you model how to step away from harmful cravings or how to take a deep breath of peace and patience in response to unexpected anger. We can teach them how to listen without losing themselves, see their mistakes honestly, make amends, or start afresh.

It is helpful to give children options within the boundaries of what you consider appropriate and acceptable. If they are young," either/or" works well, or multiple options if they are older. Making good choices takes practice, so start early with the small choices.

Think through the options that you give your child. Of course, presenting an option if you aren't willing to follow through could backfire, but choices involving behavior are an excellent opportunity to point out a possible choice and its consequences. You can also help older children to use choices to learn how to prioritize.

Once a child chooses, don't continue to offer choices. A choice is a decision and should be respected. Part of choosing is living with the ramifications of that choice, and part of the lesson is learning to live with the choice made.

Children are independent while also being dependent on your actions, attention, and love. So help them make good choices while they sort out their wants, dreams, and desires.