Impossible Goals
My life has been filled with impossible goals. As I look forward, I realize I am both living and dreaming them today. When I was a young teen, I had a poster hanging over my bed. It was a picture of a classical ballet dancer in an attitude position where the dancer is standing on one leg with the other lifted to the back (derrière). The leg in the air is bent at the knee to form roughly a 145-degree angle. Underneath the picture were the words "If you can dream it, you can become it."
I loved this picture even though it seemed impossible for me ever to become a serious dancer. I had ballet classes as a child and competed as a gymnast in middle and high school, and I even earned a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, but for whatever reason, this poster represented the impossible to me. However, I kept the words underneath the picture safe in my heart.
My plans (grounded in what I felt was a more realistic approach to life) included going into nursing school. I enjoyed helping people, and I spent most of my summers as a candy striper helping out in military hospitals, so it seemed like the most sensible thing to do. I continued to take dance classes just for the love of it.
A few months later, I went to an interview for a registered nursing program; an insightful educator closed the discussion by saying she would not accept me into the program this year. If I came back the following year, she would have a spot for me. I was shocked, and I couldn't understand why she would say that to me when I was doing a sensible thing. However, I also realized that she was right - I didn't want to commit to nursing yet.
Later that night, in my room, I realized that dance was a celebration of life, a structure or language where I could communicate most fully. Dance wasn't something I wanted to be. It was who I was. I thought of dance as preventive medicine, an effective way to help people experience a connection to the beauty that surrounds us all. I looked up at my dance poster and knew it was time to go all-in with myself and go for my dream.
This time I went big. I auditioned for my top choice college. After my audition was over, the interviewer told me that if I worked hard and trained for the next year, they would have a spot for me. Rather than looking at needing an additional year of training as a barrier, I took on the challenge. Within a year, I auditioned for three more colleges and got accepted into all of them. I chose my original first choice, and I was then in the program that prepared me to move to New York and begin my dance career.
Success is not always the best option, and failure is not a bad thing. When you want something with your heart, failure just means there is work to do. The worst thing is not to try.
By reaching for success, you get to feel the feeling of achieving your goal in the moment. You get to enjoy it ahead of time. It is worth going for it even if you miss it. The person I became in the year before I went to my dream school was well worth the effort, even if I didn't end up going that first year.
Having fun is an important part of the transformation. Love the process, be in the process, and be worthy of the goal. No matter how you try, you can't stress your way to freedom. If you feel stressed, it might be a clue that you need to tweak your direction.
As parents, it is essential to balance the responsibilities of parenting while embracing our own impossible dreams. Be an example for your kids in whatever way that you can, and show your children that impossible dreams are worth having and are possible. Impossible dreams are our special gift, not just to ourselves but to the world. Our gifts are unique to us, and only we can deliver.
So if your child's dreams seem impractical or foreign to you, know that a beautiful way to prepare them and to hold space for them is to let them see you living your impossible dreams.
Good questions to ask yourself
What is stopping you from reaching your dreams?
Am I living my dreams or recycling my past?
Do I think it is impossible just because I haven't done it before?
Is it possible to believe something I don't believe yet?
Am I buffering and not creating new possibilities in my life?
If you enjoyed this blog and are interested in taking this work to the next level, I encourage you to reach out to me for a free webinar at eugenianascimento.com, where we can take this work to another level.