E. Nascimento

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Progression

Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.

Rumi

My Father was an orphan, spent twenty years in the military, and after retirement, he realized his childhood dream and became a history teacher for teens at risk.

I learned my lessons as I watched life teach him. Life is very economical that way. I learned that it was not the job of others to do what I expected to make me feel better. I knew that having the right to do things my way meant that others had the privilege to meet life on their terms as well.

I learned that the ability to love someone unconditionally means you love and accept them even when you believe their choices are not the right ones. In my own life as a parent, stepparent, single parent, and now grandparent, I choose love for the sake of feeling and experiencing love. The more I learned to include myself while loving others, the better I get at loving everybody else.

Loving someone does not mean that we have the right to control them or get them to listen to what we think is essential. On the same token, loving others should not come at the expense of loving yourself. Nor does it mean that I should shoulder the effects of the choices of others. I can if I like, but the choice is always mine. I have to like my reasons for doing so.

Loving unconditionally does not mean unconditionally approving others’ behavior. It just means that when you think about that particular person, you feel love. You can choose to love someone while also choosing never to see them again. Setting boundaries is an act of love.

Although sometimes it is easier to play the victim and blame others, my Father accepted the cards that life dealt out and “faced the music” that came with them. With strength and dignity, he put his best foot forward, met the moment, and did what was required.

Life requires of us that no matter how far we come, we can always go further. We are either going forward or backward, always in motion. Throughout the many steps of this process, we learn more about love, how to give and how to receive it. Each person chooses their course, beliefs, direction, and pace. As long as we are here, life will use every moment every opportunity to teach us more.

So regardless of your age or circumstances, open your heart in acceptance of unknown blessings and invite new possibilities. Look for how life will lead you forward. Be hungry to take your next step.