Results

Results

When we talk about taking total responsibility for our actions, it can feel like a big concept for some. Still, if you understand the Law of Cause and Effect, you know that your thoughts are causing your results.

Sometimes having the steps laid out to achieve a result is not enough, and we may need help following through and evolving toward our goals. Regardless of your current circumstances, you can bring awareness into your thinking by utilizing Causal Coaching.  What you choose to do with this awareness is up to you.  Total responsibility is the price of total freedom. 

Casual Coaching reveals how your current results are evidence of your thinking. With this in mind, throughout the coaching process, I help you uncover the thoughts getting in the way of achieving your goals, believing in yourself, and making progress. 

Results 

Be it good or bad. Your results teach you something,

This moment is yesterday's effect and tomorrow's cause.  

Small day-to-day, seemingly unimportant decisions map the course of our lives.  

Results happen over time, not overnight. 

To work hard, stay consistent, and be patient.

More critical than the result is the process.

Old habits can not bring new results.

Every choice you make has a result.

It does not matter if your habits are good or bad. They will consistently deliver results.

Do the work to get the results you want.

A cause often produces more than one effect.

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day

Yesterday I went to a conference on Belonging. The guest speaker had many insights about community, belonging, and connection. 

As I attempted to define what belonging means to me, the lyrics to one of my favorite songs came to mind. 

Belonging comes from within from a place of being, giving, and receiving unconditional love. Although I am often alone, I am never lonely. Wherever I am, I have a strong sense of belonging.

On this Mother’s Day, I would like to say thank you, Mom, for your unconditional love, for aligning your life's journey with your words, for teaching me love by living it, and for helping me discover what it means to belong to myself.

Greatest Love of All

I believe the children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way

Show them all the beauty they possess inside

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody searching for a hero

People need someone to look up to

I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs

A lonely place to be

And so I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago

Never to walk in anyone's shadows

If I fail, if I succeed

At least I'll live as I believe

No matter what they take from me

They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all

Is happening to me

I found the greatest love of all

Inside of me

The greatest love of all

Is easy to achieve

Learning to love yourself

It is the greatest love of all

And if, by chance, that special place

That you've been dreaming of

Leads you to a lonely place

Find your strength in love

Songwriters: Linda Creed / Michael Masser

Love and Fear

The story of the Emperor Moth is one of my favorite stories and demonstrates the importance of trusting in your process.

The Emperor Moth is the most majestic species among all the moths. It has broad wings spanning out majestically when it flies. Before it can become a full-grown moth, it has to be a pupa in a cocoon. An interesting fact about the moth's cocoon is that the neck of the cocoon is very narrow.To become a moth, the pupa of the moth must squeeze its way out of the narrow neck.

One day a man found a cocoon of an emperor moth. He took it home so that he could watch the moth come out of the cocoon. He sat and watched the moth struggling to force the body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as possible, and it could go no more now. It just seemed to be stuck.

Being kind, the man decided to help the moth. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon, and the moth then emerged quickly. However, it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man expected that the wings would enlarge and expand to support the body, which would expand in time. But neither happened! The little moth spent the rest of its life crawling around, with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly and a few days later, it died.

The man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand that the struggle required for the moth to escape its restrictive cocoon through the tiny opening was nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the moth into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once the moth emerged. The moth’s freedom and flight could only come after the struggle. By depriving the moth of conflict, the well-intentioned man denied the emperor moth of health.

Author -Unknown-

When I feel afraid, I try to focus on the love available to me. I find this love in nature, my family and friends, pets, and doing things, like gardening, that I genuinely enjoy. I have found that where I carry love, fear cannot exist.

However, even worse than carrying fear is cutting ourselves off from our feelings. Like the moth, we must be willing to experience the discomfort of growth and trust in what we know love to be that the discomfort only makes us stronger on the other side.

eugenianascimento.com/blog/love-and-fear

Connected

"All things are connected like the blood that unites us. We do not weave the web of life; we are merely a strand in it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves."

Chief Seattle

Many of us think that if we do all the right things, we can protect our children's feelings. No matter their age or how much we might want to, we can't protect our children from unhappiness.  

Children experience their thoughts and feelings, and as they grow, we have less input into the circumstances in their lives. Setting limits with warmth and love creates a connected, safe space for our children to be in the world, and by setting limits in our relationships with our children, we model healthy, mutually respectful relationships for and with them. 

The processing of our feelings is an essential part of life, growth, and development. As parents, we can help by feeling our feelings, being present in the moment, listening, holding space, and loving them unconditionally. This type of connection establishes trust for the present and future.

Being connected in this way fosters a sense of belonging and trust and opens our hearts to the knowledge that we are all worthy of a kind of love that doesn't require us to change but rather helps us develop the courage to be who we are.

Anger

When I was going through a particularly challenging time, a friend turned to me and quietly said “there is no such thing as justified anger.” Hearing this stopped me in my tracks and brought more of my anger to the surface. But when I cooled down, I realized he was right, andI have never looked at anger the same again.

Anger is a feeling, a vibration in your body, a reaction generated by your thoughts about a neutral circumstance. Anger generally manifests as passive aggression, open aggression, or assertive anger. Identifying where you are in the anger band can be helpful when passing through it.

Anger is an understandable but ultimately indulgent emotion, one that I have learned to let go of and move with non-judgment. 

Remember that the actions of others (including your children) are not the cause of your anger. I am not saying you don’t have boundaries and let people take advantage of you. I am saying we are responsible for the results when we let our actions be fueled by anger.

The next time you feel yourself slipping into anger, hold space for it. Be curious. Ask questions. What is anger? How do you recognize it? How do you know you're experiencing it? Where do you feel it in your body? 

With unconditional love and compassion for yourself, let your anger inform you of the self-work you have yet to do. It is some of the most challenging and best work I have ever done.

Free Will / Action

Free Will/Action

The crocus blooms before early spring here in New York City. Nature does not resist the changes necessary to make room for the growth of spring. So make a conscious choice to give yourself the gift of a decision.

We have a responsibility not to be passive bystanders in our lives. Understand what you value and what makes you tick. Decide what and who you want to keep in your life. Take action towards your destination, your destiny! Fate governs the conditions of our birth, and each of us chooses how to move within and beyond it.

Free Will / Action

fluid

lives in movement, 

believes you deserve what you want

inspired by aligned words

creates change towards our goals

Decides

Aligns with who you are, using what you have

heals 

Reveals 

What is The Self Coaching Model?

As adults, we have about sixty thousand thoughts per day. Some of these thoughts are conscious, and many are not. Our brain is an amazing tool. We take what happens to us and get to decide what it means. We get to look at the events in our lives and decide what we believe about our circumstances.

The Life Coach Schools' Self-Coaching Model is a worthwhile cause-and-effect structured Coaching tool that provides insight into our thinking and helps us manage our thoughts. Understanding cause and effect helps us make the best choices for ourselves and our families as we meet the challenges of living in today's world.

Here are the five components of the Model:

Circumstances are things outside our control, including other people, our past, and the weather. Circumstances are neutral, meaning that objectively they are neither positive nor negative. While we can't control our circumstances, we can control how we decide to think and how we feel and behave. 

Thoughts are subjective. We each take what happens in our lives and decide what it means to us. It's not the events in our lives that shape us, nor the circumstances, but rather our thoughts about the circumstances. The good news is that although our circumstances are not always within our control, our thoughts are. We can maintain a stronger connection to ourselves and with our children by not making assumptions about the behavior of others. 

Feelings are the emotions or vibrations we experience in our body, directly related to our thoughts. When negative feelings come up, be present and feel them. It is essential to know the difference between feeling your feelings and acting out your feelings. Young children may have temper tantrums; however, that is acting out of feelings rather than feeling them. 

Actions refer to behavior, reaction, or inaction, and they are directly related to our feelings. 

Results are the effects of our actions, and we are responsible for those results.  

Better brain management, i.e., cause and effect understanding, makes it easier to open the heart to “life” regardless of global and personal circumstances.  Throughout life's challenges, lessons and blessings are always going to be present. So hold on to your dreams, be present in the moment, and consciously show up as the best version of yourself not only for yourself but in service to others.

Disagreements

Disagreements

I was talking with my three-year-old grandson. After a brief conversation explaining why I should see things his way, he looked at me and asked me if I understood. After I recovered from his command of the English language, I smiled and said yes, I understand, but I don't agree. He repeated what I said as we explored this new level of communication.

Disagreements are a normal part of family life. We have the freedom to think and no one does it the same way. We may disagree with our mates, co-parents or our children. However, these moments can be rich in growth opportunities. 

You believe what you believe because of your history, experience, education, and decisions. When a family member is talking, notice whether you feel upset and want to correct them. Do you feel that you want to fix them, and does the thought that they are wrong cause you to want to interrupt? Instead of interrupting, try asking them to tell you more. See if you can hold space while they tell you everything and observe your feelings while you listen. Then, rather than reacting, decide how you want to respond.

It is important to remember it is not their words but rather our thoughts about their words that we find upsetting. Even seemingly hurtful words are a neutral circumstance until we have a thought and decide what those words mean to us. When we listen from a place of fascination rather than upset, we can listen, hear, and understand why someone else believes what they believe. 

Listening to others does not mean you agree with them. Disagreeing, staying in this space, and holding space for disagreement is an attainable, commendable, and loving goal for all concerned. You can master it with loved ones and then add it to your toolbox to utilize in today's world. 

"If you are willing to give another person his state of consciousness, you have at least the right to expect the same for yourself."

                                                 ——-Harold Klemp

Where's One!?

Where’s One!?

If you stumble, make it part of the dance. ~Unknown

When learning a new dance, you start by counting the steps:  five six seven eight. You do this until you become in sync with the feel and the rhythm of the music. 

For some, this process is more straightforward than for others, so when one dancer says to another, “where’s one?” they are using shorthand to say, “feel the music, stop thinking it, be it.”

The same can be true in love.

Being open in gratitude to love reveals a love always available to you. In loving others, first, love yourself. As a magnet for love, you can better love and serve others.

Starting Back at One

I am deeply loved. 

I am enough.

My purpose is the life I am living now.

The world longs for what I have to offer.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Growing up, I used to have terrible stomach aches; it wasn’t until I got older that I realized that I got them whenever I was around angry people.  I couldn’t understand why, but I allowed their anger to cut through me like a knife. Changing my perspective on anger has allowed me to have more tolerance, forgiveness, and fewer stomach aches. It has also helped me to forgive. 

In the simplest terms (and in Webster's kids’ dictionary), forgiveness is the act of ending anger.  Knowing how to forgive is a great skill to have, and the only thing it requires is that you stop feeling or ignoring anger toward someone. Sometimes, that someone is yourself.

Anger is a natural and understandable response to being hurt, but it doesn’t serve us to place our focus and attention on anger. We may tell ourselves that our anger is how we punish someone, but no one can experience your feelings but you. We may not want to forgive because that feels like we are excusing someone’s bad behavior. But forgiveness does not provide an excuse for bad or hurtful behavior; it just allows you to be no longer hurt by it. 

You alone are responsible for your thinking. As we have learned, your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions, and your actions create your results. At its core, anger is self-indulgent. It is easy to think we can protect ourselves by thinking negative thoughts about our circumstances, but that only leads to negative feelings. It is within our power to think neutral or even productive thoughts instead.  

Apologies are beautiful gifts, but they are not required to forgive. Forgiveness can happen regardless of whether we receive an apology, and it can happen without the other person’s knowledge. Forgiveness is only about your feelings, not about your behavior. When you forgive and let go, your heart opens to healing and growing. Forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself. It is a gift that you deserve. If you find you need coaching, I can help. Email me here, and we can set up a time to talk.

Boundaries

Boundaries

In the past, I would approach relationships by focusing on the needs of those around me. If the needs of those I loved conflicted with my own needs, I quietly removed myself and my needs from the equation. Now, I’ve learned that removing myself is not an act of generosity or an act of love. It is merely saying that because I don’t trust the other person to respect my boundaries, I should develop a backup plan. 

The concept of boundaries was always a little fuzzy for me until I learned to approach them from a place of love. This approach was a game-changer because it allowed me to connect boundaries to my feelings, thoughts, and decisions. 

It took me time to understand that just because I need to say no to something does not mean I am saying no to the relationship. It is ok if others choose to be hurt or upset; I can love them anyway. Boundaries are a part of self-care; they are healthy and necessary and require more courage than eliminating people from your life or choosing to harbor resentment. 

Boundaries are not about controlling others but promoting self-responsibility and empowerment, making our relationships stronger and healthier. When we dare to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others, we learn that love is stronger than fear, frustration, anger, or even defensiveness. Through love, we are unafraid to be honest about our needs. Learning to set boundaries also helped me clarify where my freedom and responsibility end and where another’s begins. Boundaries enabled me to show empathy and listen without fixing things or needing to make them “right.” More importantly, approaching boundaries with love helps me not do for others what is theirs to do for themselves. I cannot rescue someone from the consequences of their behavior without also taking away their opportunity for growth. 

Clear boundaries enable healthier relationships, increased intimacy, and the ability to be present in the moment for yourself, as well as for your children.  

Boundaries 

Take courage and risks the disappointment of others.

Require the ability to say “No.” 

Require showing up as your best self and holding space for others to do the same

Set limits for takers 

Provide moments of insightfulness

Boundaries Are…

About loving you and me simultaneously

Sustainable, preventative, never self-sacrificing

True kind and necessary

Another way of saying what I want matters

Respectful of the whole 

Always about me 

A yes to you and a yes to me

A way to include me as a part of the whole

A safe wall with a door 

A time and energy saver that separates wants from a needs

Necessary for those who don't want me to create them 

Loving myself

Patient Perfectionism

Patient Perfectionism

Children learn to walk by practicing, and in doing so, they make many mistakes. They understand what doesn't work. They fall. They hit their head, and they cry. We hold them until they feel safe enough to try again and fail again, and one day, they master it.

Too often for adults, the pain of failure may be intolerable. We set high expectations for ourselves, and meeting these expectations often feels like the only acceptable option. However, changing our definition of success and enjoying the process rather than focusing only on the result makes room for a different perspective, one that enables us to feel the perfection of our imperfections. 

High achievers often manifest as perfectionists at work, in relationships, or in our expectations for ourselves or our children. We may think we want to do everything "right" in an attempt to control the outcome or be unwilling to try things that we do not expect we will do perfectly. However, perfectionism is not about achievement. It is about fear. Perfectionism excuses us from taking action and limits us to expectations that we think we can meet and control. 

There are options beyond impatient failure and immediate guaranteed success. Instead of requiring yourself to show up perfectly, make a deal with yourself to show up as your best self. Be willing to double or triple your failure rate, thus choosing progress over perfection.

You're going to fail sometimes, but you're also going to have your own back. All successful people know how it feels to fail. Choose to be grateful for the opportunity to learn and see this as a reason to love yourself more rather than less.

Being patient with your perfectionism and embracing life as it unfolds before you is a choice that is always available to you. This journey is how we grow as people and gain insight as parents. 

Patient Perfectionism

Have your own back  

See the Beauty within imperfection

Be patient with your impatience                                                  

Know what's yours to control 

Make your mistakes

Forgive your worst

Deserve your Best

Release the past, 

Keep Now

Embrace the Pace of Change  

Lean into what you Think you lack

Then fix it along the way

Choose, Love, and do you

You've Got This

Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love

You are enough. You do not need to be or do anything differently to deserve love. To the degree that we transform our emotional present, we love ourselves and grow as parents.

Unconditional love for ourselves and our children does not come from changing what is outside and around us. Loving ourselves and others requires understanding what's inside of us.

If you find yourself being overly critical of yourself or others, pressuring your child to perform perfectly, focusing more on what they are not good at rather than what they do well, pause and ask yourself why? Know that what is important is not your child's behavior but your reaction to that behavior.

Knowing your lovability is absolute, and being gentle with yourself is the first step in being gentle with others. So relax into the knowledge you are infinitely lovable. You always have been, and forever will be, because you are you. Knowing this, you can more fully open your heart to giving and receiving love.

The process of unconditionally loving ourselves and our loved ones opens our hearts to be the parents we long to become.

Trust and Love

Trust and Love

Love is the glue that holds the world together and, in the highest sense, it is a gift that we open our hearts to and give to others. Trust, however, is somewhat different. Trust is more like a loan. Depending on the nature of the relationship, trust takes varying times to develop and requires that we not give it blindly. Giving our trust too quickly or irresponsibly can forever change our lives and leave us distrusting ourselves. 

Love in action is true, kind, and necessary. Love is unconditional in all respects. Therefore, you may choose to love someone who has proven untrustworthy. You can choose to love up close or from a distance. You may decide never to speak to the person and still love them in your heart. However, with trust, there is a liability involved.

In stillness, go deep within listen with your heart to do the best you know how to do. Love without expecting its return, and let love be what it will. Trust in the process and make a love-filled and conscious decision as to whether you want to loan access to the intricate vulnerable parts of who you are.

Trust is

earned when actions meet words

never a lie

returned 

my decision 

never given blindly

ready to risk what you currently have

within the art of silence

beautiful

guides you further

uses darkness as a candle

appears along the way

True, kind, and necessary

Love Always

Eugenia

A Larger Room

A Larger Room

When parenting, it is not unusual to feel like you don't know what you are doing or how to improve your relationship with your child. To me, acknowledging when you feel challenged presents a new beginning, like walking into a larger room. In that room, the rules have changed and all that worked before no longer does. 

When I enter this new room, I try to remember that I am closer to where I want to be despite my uncomfortable feelings. I am about to be transformed, and it is up to me to decide how I want to show up.

A few weekends ago, I went to visit my daughter. While she took care of a few errands, I watched my grandson, who is almost one and was navigating a change in his nap schedule. When I went to put him down for a nap, nothing I tried seemed to work. No bottle, diaper check, hug, music, rocking, or walking helped in any significant way. 

Knowing that I would need to try something new, I surrendered to the moment, held him with love, and resigned myself to knowing I was doing my best and that eventually, things would become more apparent.

To my relief, within five minutes, my daughter returned home, and I shared a recount of the recent occurrences. She tried all of the things on her list step by step while also listening deeply and observing not just what he was doing but what he wasn't doing. She decided his cry sounded like hunger, so despite his having had a hearty breakfast, lunch, and two bottles, she fed him a third bottle and a snack. And that was it! All was well; together, my daughter, grandson, and I had reached an understanding and the end of the mystery.

Feeling like you don't know what you are doing is the central parenting experience, whether our child is a toddler, teen, or adult. Our children don't come with manuals. It may be that they are not old enough to talk to us (or that they don't want to). They may lack the self-awareness to communicate their circumstances, thoughts, feelings, or actions. Regardless, it's a challenge.

As your children get older, you likely have expectations for how they will conduct themselves. Within reason, these expectations are appropriate, and part of a parent's job is to help guide their child in this way. The best parents are consistent and clear about expectations and consequences. 

Our children can be our greatest gifts and teachers. Are you up for the challenge? Are you ready to walk into a larger room? I can help- not by telling you what to do, but by offering curious questions and holding a neutral space for you to be your best self.

eugenianascimento.com

October 3, 2019

Boredom

Boredom

Being raised in a military family, we moved often. I remember sitting on the porch as a young teen and watching the movers unload the last boxes from the moving van. I felt this strange feeling that I could not identify and could not shake.

The next day the feeling lingered, so I went outside and watched the leaves on a nearby branch, which seemed to have an unnatural stillness. After exhausting my technique to reset my emotional clock by appreciating nature, I thought, I hope we don’t stay here long. That is where my memories of that moment come to an end. However, I now know that what I was experiencing was boredom.

Boredom is a multi-dimensional, complex feeling fueled by thoughts. It is a feeling that sometimes feels relaxed, tired, cheerful, indifferent, indecisive, restless, reactive, or surprisingly numb.

In contrast, my three-year-old grandson is never bored. As he moves effortlessly from one activity to the next, boredom is merely a precursor to his next cycle of creativity. He is in constant motion. Watching him play helps me remember when I could become immune to boredom via curiosity.

Somewhere between early childhood and young adulthood, I stopped seeing boredom as an opportunity to listen, hear, discover, learn, feel and be.  Somehow, I began pushing against it and using it as an excuse to escape.  

Playing with my Grandson, I have rediscovered utilizing curiosity to create something creative and unique.  By being present, life places me in touch with what I like and don't like, which gives me more authority and influence over it. 

I encourage you to let the feeling of Boredom be a signal that lets you know when you are doing something in a way that doesn't satisfy you. Let it inform you that you may not be fully present or engaged in meaningful work. Then, rather than choosing to escape through busyness, take a moment and ask yourself what you can do NOW to bring yourself to a fuller awareness.

Resting vs Laziness

This week has been jam-packed with life. Today as I caught up on some much-needed rest, I found myself thinking about the differences between being lazy and resting. How does being lazy feel different than resting? Why might this be important for me to unpack? 

Resting vs Laziness

There is virtue in work

virtue in rest

overlook neither.

Stillness does not require busyness 

Resting is not being lazy. It is self-care.

A heart listens

A mind gets tired. 

When you're tired, rest 

give yourself a break.

Know you are not responsible for fixing all things broken.

Know you don't have to please everyone.

Know your baggage seldom matters.

Know you don't have to have everything figured out.

Be kind to yourself, decide

quality over quantity or quantity over quality.

Move slower, be mindful, be nicer to you

heal mentally, emotionally, and physically 

regenerate repair and rebuild. 

In service to others, take care of yourself.

Know what holds you together. 

Know when to catch your breath. 

Know your work-rest balance

commit to your wellness.

Change requires rest.

A calm mind requires rest.

Rest holds space for all you experience.

Celebrate what works and take care of what doesn't.

Change, renew, rejuvenate or harden.

Give yourself a chance by

doing what you love and love what you do.

Permit yourself to rest.

The ABCs of Wanting

The ABCs of Wanting

 If you could have whatever you wanted in the world, what would it be? Wanting is an instinct, but it is also a skill! Below are some tips for gaining clarity around your wants.

• Knowing what you think you can have is not the same as knowing what you want. 

• Wanting something doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t already have it.  

• A genuine want plants the seed for what is possible. Do not hide behind “I don’t know.”  what's possible for you.

• Check-in with yourself, being mindful of Richard Maybury's Two Laws: "Do all you have agreed to do" and "Do not encroach on other persons or their property."

• Your deepest desires come from a place of worthiness and abundance.

• Your most genuine desire is a whisper from the universe to push you toward unfolding and utilizing your creative imagination.

• Choose to want from a place of excitement rather than fear.

• Be curious about the details of what you want and why.

• Knowing what you want is a part of knowing who you are, so exhale into curiosity and be present with the question.

• From a place of stillness and truth, ask yourself the difference between wanting something and sincerely wanting it.

• Denying the truth of what you want may cause unconscious urges to show up in your life. Instead, feel the gifts of your highest truth, surrender into it, and allow it to fill you up.

• Know that your brain may work against you. It is not programmed for desire. It is programmed for survival. 

• Know you can not control others and that choosing to hold on to your wants may mean others will be disappointed with your choice.

• Have belief in your want. Know that your desire matters. 

• Know you are whole and complete exactly as you are. You don’t have to do or be anything other than who you are.

What would you want in a perfect world? What do you want deep in the whispers of your heart? Every day, choose to take continuous action towards it. 

Criticism

Unlike kind, constructive feedback, criticism can feel like finding yourself on the receiving end of someone else's unmanaged mind. 

Whether kind or harsh, constructive or not, there is always something to learn from the experience. Taking a step back and looking for the underlying facts can help you build strength and gain perspective.

By doing and being the best we can and having our own back, we can realize the ancient alchemist's dream and turn lead into gold.

Criticism

Problem-focused

Or to recognize, resolve correct, and move forward

Contempt before investigation

Or an insight into undeveloped recoverable skills 

More about them 

Or more about me

Opinion and judgment 

Or facts that build strength

Pause, Take a Deep Breath

Familiarize the impact 

Helpful criticism may hurt.

Ignore how it is said

Listen to what is said, 

Feel your feelings

Do self-care.  

Get curious 

Be creative,

Find a truth you can use

Overwhelm

Last night, I worked on a balance sheet with my bookkeeper (who is also my daughter). We laughed and joked because she loves numbers and math, and I find the whole experience overwhelming ( something I am working on). I was determined to feel my way through my drama and thoughts. 

It is easy to think that overwhelm is necessary and has a purpose, but in truth, it has none. In the end, overwhelm is more about your thoughts and how you think about what you are or are not doing.

There's no upside to overwhelm. The choice is simple regardless of the cause of the overwhelm: you can either move forward with inner chaos, or in grace.  I find it helpful to remember that our brains prefer consistency and familiarity, not because they are better for us necessarily, but because they feel safe. 

I want to offer that a problem can not exist without its accompanying solution; therefore, a solution can always be found if you look. Although it may feel unsafe, there is an opportunity in these moments to  choose to create something new in your world. 

So when you are feeling overwhelmed, worried, too busy, tired, or are just taking a side trip into self-pity, acknowledge and honor those feelings, and then  remember that overwhelm is something that you create, not something that happens to you.